I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
