I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
