remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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