she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
