I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize