New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it hurts more in the daytime
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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