how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
