In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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