Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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