watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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