I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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