Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
