Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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