i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
