i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
