the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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