I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize