I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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