I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
