I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
