and she was petting her beer can
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's the barista slut.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
