Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's the barista slut.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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