nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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