Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
