Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
