porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
