If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
