im holly from the hills drunk
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
