You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
