Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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