can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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