i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
