i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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