I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
