Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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