Do you still have your period?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I did not marry a roomba.
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