just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want her autograph on my taint
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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