I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize