the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
