trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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