apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
God, I missed his penis.
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