absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
