Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
