I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
