She said her name was "party"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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