I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
