a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
