The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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