It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
