I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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