I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We are two peas in an std pod
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Found the puke drawer
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
