felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
