I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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