dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
