id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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