I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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