Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
