i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
