Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
someone owes me an orgasm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
