Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize