I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
