Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize