i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize