i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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