You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
