2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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