I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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