Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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