I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
