Banned from zoo.
Again?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
