You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
