all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We're too hungover to prance.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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