All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize