I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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