Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize