I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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